Reality
by brokenbride
Summary: After the shooting Emma runs away, taking an old flame with her. After TSS but before BIB
1. Default Chapter

_Title: Reality_

_Summary: After the shooting Emma runs away, and takes an old flame with her. (This is after TSS, and before BIB)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own a gosh darned thing._

**Chapter One**

_I am the worst person ever. How could I have done what I did? I'm not even sure what it was, but I made Rick want to kill me. To erase me from the face of the earth. _

He should have done it. I deserved it. If it wasn't for me Rick would still be alive and Jimmy wouldn't be in the hospital. He could die because of me. It should be me.

"Emma are you down here?" My mom said as she walked down the stairs to my room.

"Yeah." Was all I said as I quickly hid my journal behind my back.

"Okay, I have to take Snake to the hospital, for a check up. You need some new clothes. Here, get something." My mom said and handed me a hundred dollar bill.

"It's too much." I said and started to hand it back to her.

"Not really. It's pretty much for the past five months. Now go get some new clothes." She said and then walked back up the stairs.

I pulled my journal out from behind my back. I needed to finish the entry I had started.

_It should be me. I should be dead. It would be better that way. But I'm not. If only I could just make it all simple and just erase myself. _

Oh well, I have to go buy clothes. Exactly what I don't want to do. But I must.

I put my pen down and closed my journal. I couldn't let anyone know what I wrote. So I hid it between my mattresses of my bed.

Once I had done this, I grabbed my coat and climbed out my window. I didn't feel like facing my mom or Snake. They hadn't left yet, and it would be too weird to face them both at the same time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

At the mall, where I had decided to go on the bus, I wasn't sure where to go. I didn't want to go to my usual store. I needed a change.

When I passed Hot Topic I had to look in. It was the place I was least likely to go shopping in. So this was where I was going to get my clothes.

I bought three pairs of pants, two skirts, five shirts, arm warmers, a hat, and two pairs of shoes. They were black, blue, and some pink. I used the money my mom gave me, and most of my own.

"Will that be all?" The person behind the counter asked me as she rang up the last item.

"Yeah." I said and handed her my money. She opened the register and handed me my change.

I grabbed my bags and left. I walked to the bathroom and changed. I put the baggy pants, my black/red shirt with a Heartagram sign in the front, arm warmers, and finished it off with my chucks.

I looked in the mirror. It didn't look right with my hair. It was too light. I knew what I had to do. Black streaks.

When I got home I couldn't decide if I should go through the front door or sneak in. I figured I should sneak in. I still didn't feel like facing my parents.

When I got in my room I put my bags on my bed and went to the bathroom to do my hair.

_tbc..._

I know it's short right now. It should get longer as it goes along.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"Emma, is that you?" JT asked as he walked up to my locker the next day.

I was wearing my black skirt with my black lace up boots. Then my black tank top with my arm warmers. I also had my black streaks in my hair. I liked the whole look, I guess everyone else didn't.

"Yes, JT, it's me. Who else would it be?" I asked rather rudely. After all I was that kind of person now.

"Sorry. I just never thought you would ever wear something like that." JT stammered.

"JT, never say sorry. It's a sign of weakness. And this is a new me. I can't be the old Emma. She was...she..was..evil. She was a vengeful person. And it's better that she's gone." I said as I shut my locker and walked away.

"Nature girl?" Jay asked as I walked by him and his gang. I ignored him. Not like that was any different from usual though.

I could hear him talk to the others as I walked away.

"Whoa. Is it just me or is that a new Emma?" Jay asked. So he did know my name.

I didn't hear the rest of their conversation. I walked into my dad's classroom. The one class I wasn't looking forward to.

After the bell rang, Mr. Simpson started in on our new lesson. I wasn't paying attention. An IM popped up on my computer.

**GangstaBoi**: What's up w/ the new look?  
**SparkleSpaz**: What do you care? Hold on I'm going to change my sn.  
**SparkleSpaz **has signed out

I signed off my old name and quickly came up with a new one. I signed in and IMed Sean back.

**NotHere**: Now, what did you want?  
**GangstaBoi**: Emma?  
**NotHere**: Yeah, it's Emma.  
**GangstaBoi**: Now, what do you have the new look?  
**NotHere**: It's time for a new Emma.  
**GangstaBoi**: What's wrong w/ the old Emma?  
**NotHere**: She was evil. Rick wanted to kill her. So now he doesn't have to. I did it. She doesn't deserve to be here, I don't deserve to be here.  
**GangstaBoi**: Emma, you can't mean that.  
**NotHere **has signed off


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_School was the worst. I really don't belong there anymore. I don't belong anywhere here anymore. I can't do this anymore. I need out. I want out._

I closed my journal and put it back between the mattresses. I needed to take a break, and get out of the house.

I snuck out of my window again. I had done it so much lately that it now was a part of me. I had become the person who couldn't face her own family.

I walked to the Dot. It was really full though, so I left. I was walking back home when Jay's car pulled up beside me.

"Greenpeace, I'm digging the new look. But give me a break. Who are you trying to kid? I mean, Cameron already has a goth girl. Although you make a hotter one." Jay sneered.

"Jay, you can go to h. This look is all me. It's got nothing to do with you, Sean, or anyone else. Now, run along and steal something." I said and waved him off.

Jay drove off, leaving me all alone once again. Alone. I would always be alone. I always pushed people away. Either that, or pushed them over the edge.

I walked by the tv store just in time to see another story about the shooting. I was so tired of seeing them.

"It's been a week. You think they could talk about something else." I said to myself as I turned onto my street. Then it came to me.

I had to get out. I had to leave. I knew exactly where I was going to go. I just needed some clothes, and I had to make a pit stop.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"Emma, what are you doing here?" Sean asked when he answered the door. I had to talk to him. It was imperative for me to talk to him before I left.

"Can I just come in?" I asked and looked around for Ellie. She wasn't there. That was good. It was hard to talk to Sean with Ellie around.

"Yeah, sure." He said and moved over so I could come in. I did, and walked in a few steps before spinning around to face Sean.

"Sean, I never thanked you. For what you did that day. I know I didn't deserve what you did. And that I should have taken what was coming to me. But you stopped it. Why?" I started rambling, which was what I usually did when I was trying to be quick.

Sean took my shoulder and led me to the couch. I sat down quickly and waited for his responce.

"Emma, you mean a lot to me. Even if it may seem like I hate your guts. Which is most of the time. I would never want to see any harm come to you. So when Rick pointed that gun at you, I had to do something." Sean said, bringing new tears to my face.

"Sean, I was so horrible to Rick. I deserved what he was going to give me." I said. He just wouldn't get it.

"Emma, you are the last person to deserve something like that. I know you can be a hard at times, but you didn't deserve _anything _like that. Emma, you're one of the best people I know, even behind all those walls that you put up." Sean said, and brushed a peice of hair out of my face.

I smiled slightly. The first time I had smiled since the shooting. Sean noticed and he smiled back at me.

"Well, I better go." I said and picked up my bag that I had taken in with me. It had most of my stuff in it. Stuff that I would need where I was going.

"Where are you going?" Sean asked, eyeing my bag. I guess he hadn't seen it before.

"Anywhere but here. I need a break from everything, everything dealing with the shooting. I need to get out. Of course it won't be forever. I'll come back when I'm ready. Bye now, Sean." I said and rushed out before he could say anything.

I walked all the way to the bus station. I didn't know where I was going to go, though. I had to think it through.

I had to go somewhere where no one would think to look for me. Where no one would know me. I would also have to be close to home. It took a while before it came to me. I knew exactly where to go.

"Emma, I'm going with you. Don't argue with me." Sean said suddenly from behind me, scaring me to death. He was a little winded, and had a bag of his own. My guess was that he had run all the way here from his house.

"Fine, do what you want." I said and walked over to get the tickets.

We were going to Wasega Beach.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone_  
**Boulevard Of Broken Dreams- Green Day**

"Sean, are you sure you want to do this? What about you and Ellie? Plus you have a history with this place." I said. I didn't really care if he came or not. I just wanted him to know what he was getting himself into.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Now, can we get on the bus?" Sean asked and pointed to the bus. I nodded and moved to get on.

Sean and I didn't sit together. It was for the best. I needed to write some anyway. The person beside me was asleep, so now was the perfect time.

I got my journal out of my bag and proceeded to record my thoughts.

_So I believe that I am over the whole I-blame-myself phaze. But I can't face these people anymore. That's how I ended up here. On a bus with Sean Cameron to Wasega Beach._

I don't know how Sean ended up here. He keeps on sending me all these mixed signals. I mean, one minute he's telling me that he hate me. Then he's saving my life.

Maybe in the time we'll spend together, I'll get to know more. I know it'll probably take a little while, but hey time is of the esscense.

I really liked the new me. I think I'll try it out a little while longer. See how it goes.

I sighed and closed my journal. I slipped it back into my bag and glanced at my watch. We had another hour. I could get some sleep. I sighed again, leaned my head back against the head rest, and closed my eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

_Dedicated, you took the time  
Wasn't long till I called you mine  
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone  
And all you'd ever hear me say  
Is how I picture me with you  
That's all you'd ever hear me say_  
**Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson**

"Emma, it's time to wake up. We're here." I heard Sean's voice and opened my eyes.

He was about six inches from my face. I groaned and pushed him away.

"I don't want to wake up." I said and closed my eyes again.

"No, come on." Sean said and grabbed my arm, pulling me up. I yanked my arm away. I didn't need him to help me walk. I had been walking since I was one.

"I can walk on my own." I said and then stormed off the bus. I really just didn't need Sean touching me.

Wasega Beach was a lot different from Toronto. The bus station was by the beach. I slid the straps of my backpack up my shoulders and started walking down to the beach.

"Em! Wait up, will you!" Sean yelled and ran after me. I didn't feel like stopping, so I didn't.

Sean reached me and slowed down. I could already tell that he was mad. I just didn't really care.

"Emma, we need to talk." Sean said and then pointed to a bench. I sighed and went to sit down.

"Sean, what did you want?" I asked as I sat down. I wanted to know what he wanted to say, but I didn't want him to know that I wanted to know. How would most likely think the wrong thing.

"Emma, if you're wanting to stay here, you need to know something. This may look like a friendly and sun shiney place, but it really isn't. You need to be careful. I would feel better if you were with me most of the time." Sean said and then somehow managed to make his point further by glancing around.

The last thing I wanted was a babysitter.

"Sean, despite what you may think, I can take care of myself. So, if you don't mind..." I trailed off and made my way to the beach.

"Emma, wait!" Sean yelled after me. I could hear him run after me. I slowed down a little.

"Emma, I know that you can defend and take care of yourself. At least let me do something." Sean said when he reached me. I knew what he was doing, but I really didn't care.

"Fine. Just as long as you don't start wearing a suit and dark sunglasses, then we'll be fine." I said and sat down in the sand. Sean did the same.

I wasn't going to admit it to Sean, but I was glad that he was here. He did make me feel a lot safer. That was another thing that I wasn't going to admit.

"Where are we going to stay?" I asked the question that I knew had been weighing on both of our minds.

"I don't know. I thought that was your thing. After all you're why we're here. Why would it be up to me?" Sean said. He was looking out into the water. I did the same.

"We could stay with your parents." I said. I knew that he was thinking, but one of us had to say it.

"No way. I can't face them. Not right now. I know someone we can stay with, though." Sean said. I didn't expect him to actually say anything more about the subject.

"Who?" I asked. He should have known that I would ask that.

"A good friend from when I lived down here. His name is Nick Reno." I still didn't know who he was. Sean had never really mentioned him to me. I just hoped that he was nothing like Jay.

"Sean..." I trailed off on his name to show that I wasn't happy with this.

"Trust me, Em, it'll be fine." Sean said getting up and dusting the sand off his pants. I sighed and did the same thing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

_Give me back my point of view  
'Cause I just can't think for you  
I can hardly hear you say  
What should I do, well you choose_  
**Look What You've Done- Jet**

"So, this is going to be fine?" I asked as me and Sean stood in front of a gray mobile home. It was so run down that it didn't look like it could hold more than two people, let alone four.

"Yeah, Nick and I were really close growing up. I mean, we both had really horrible parents, so we sorta just helped each other out." Sean said as he walked up to the door. I followed him.

"Are you going to ring the bell, or are you just going to stand there all day?" I asked Sean. We were on the porch, and all Sean had done was stand there, staring at the door.

Sean didn't move, so I reached around him and rang the doorbell for him.

"No, come on, let's go." Sean said and walked back to the sidewalk, and then down the street. I looked at the door once again, and then ran after him.

"What the hell what that all about?" I asked. Sean didn't say anything, so I grabbed his arm and forced him to face me.

"Emma, it's been four years. I can' really face him after all that time. I basically abandoned him. We were each other's rock, and then when I left...I don't know what happened to him." Sean said. His voice was starting to shake.

It was times like these that reminded me that Sean was human.

"Then, let's go." I said, and then walked back to where we had just been.

"Where are you going?" Sean called after me, as he quickened his pace to catch up with me. It seemed, to me, that he was always trying to catch up with me lately.

"Back to Nick's house." I said and continued on my way.

"I'm not going to go. I can't do it. Emma, come on!" Sean called. He had stopped trying to follow me and was now just standing on the sidewalk.

I stopped and faced him. He was about six yards away from me. I could tell that he was torn between going or not.

"Sean, you said that you would protect me. After all this isn't a very sun shiney place. Now would you really like to leave me alone that long?" I yelled throwing the words that he had said to me ealier right back in his face.

"Fine! Wait a sec!" Sean said and walked back over to me. I smiled smuggly to myself. Sean needed to do this. I knew it just as well as he did.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

_So don't make me cry  
'Cause this love don't feel so right  
You can't push a river,  
You can't make me fall  
But you can make me unreachable_  
**Unreachable- Ashlee Simpson**

We were back at the porch. I pointed at the doorbell. I wasn't going to be the one to ring the bell. I wanted Sean to do it.

"You do the honor." I said. Sean sighed and reached over to push the doorbell.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on, will ya?" A voice came from inside. I didn't like the sound of it. It was...to a point scarey.

A man opened the door. He was in his mid-forties, or so it appeared. He reaked of alcohol and smoke. I took a step back, though, when I recognized who it was.

It was Jordan. There was no way that Sean's friend Nick could be the son of the man who had tried to rape me. There was no way.

"I'm sorry, we have the wrong place." I said and turned and ran down the porch steps and down the sidewalk. I kept running until I reached the corner.

"Emma, wait!" Sean yelled. He was once again behind me, chasing me.

I sat down on the bus stop on the corner. The tears that had been stinging my eyes now fell freely down my face. When Sean finally reached me, I wiped them away before he could see them.

"Emma, what the h was that about?" Sean was mad. I didn't really blame him for it though. Then again, he didn't really know my side of it.

"I don't want to talk about it. Not right now. This is your thing, not mine." I said referring to the whole Nick thing. Lord knows that I was the main reason we were really here.

"No. There is something wrong. Now tell me." Sean said, and sat down next to me.

"That was Jordan." I said. I had told Sean about what happened before 7th Grade a long time ago. He hadn't really liked it either.

"Jordan? From the internet? The perve that tried to-" Sean started to say, but I cut him off.

"Yes, that one." I said. I really didn't want to hear the word rape one more time.

"Okay, we'll find somewhere else to stay for now. I guess we could stay with my parents. I need to talk to them anyway." Sean said and looked at me. He reached over and wiped a stray tear off my cheek.

"Thank-you." I said and turned to face Sean. He was so understanding. At least he was being understanding now.

I was looking at Sean really close. He was so cute when he was being serious. The area between his eyebrows was creased and his eyes were dark. I couldn't help but think of how much I missed him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

_Whose eyes am I behind  
I don't recognize anything that I see  
Whose skin is this design  
I don't want this to be the way that you see me_

**Ordinary- Train**

_I am so proud of Sean right now. He came home and faced his parents. Now here we are at his old house, sleeping in the same room. (Not together of course) He's on the floor and I got the bed._

I can't believe that I saw Jordan. He had always hoped that I would never have to set eyes on him ever again. I guess that wish never came true, along with millions of others. Maybe I'll be lucky and not see him again.

I closed my journal and looked up at the ceiling. Sean's room was a lot like I had expected: small, neat, and very plain. Sean never was very extravagant.

I tossed my journal back in my bag, which was under my pillow. I needed some fresh air, so I got out of the bed and crossed the room. I carefully stepped over Sean, and made my way out of the house.

I sat on the porch steps and looked up at the stars. It seemed like forever since I had done this. Except this time I was alone. More alone than I had ever felt before.

A door opened and closed behind me. I didn't turn around, I already knew who it was. I moved over on the step to make room for Sean to sit down.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked as Sean sat down. He was in boxers and a white wife-beater.

"Nah, I was already up. I heard you writing in your journal thing, then you just got up and left. I figured you'd be out here." He said and leaned back. I assumed that it was so that he could look at the stars too.

"You heard me? Was I being loud or something?" I asked. I didn't want to keep him up when I was writing. I always wrote at night, and if I couldn't do it without letting Sean sleep, there really wasn't much of a reason.

"Yeah. You weren't that loud. I could just hear you writing. It sounded like you had a lot on your mind." Sean said. I looked over at him, only to find that he was looking at me.

"Oh." I said. I could feel my head gravitating towards his. Within seconds our faces were inches apart.

"Emma, I..." Sean started to say, but I cut him off by putting my finger to his lips. They were so soft, and so seductive.

They also drew me back to reality. The reality where Sean was dating Ellie. The one where kids brought guns to school. Where I was alone. Alone in this scary reality. The one place I didn't want to be.

"I need to go to bed." I said and removed my finger from his lips. I got up and want back inside, leaving Sean with his own thoughts.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

_Though I try to look away  
The pain it still remains  
Only leaving when you're next to me ._  
**Disappear- Hoobastank**

The next morning I woke up to find that Sean was no longer in the room. I got up and went to find him.

I found Sean in the kitchen. He was sitting at the kitchen table eating some kind of chocolate cereal. I walked over to him. I couldn't see his parents, so I was trying to be quiet. I figured that they were asleep or something.

"Don't worry, they went out this morning." Sean said as he got up and grabbed another bowl from the cabinet.

"Thanks." I said and grabbed the bowl from his hand.

He wasn't talking to me. I guess he was mad about last night. I don't know why he was so upset. I mean, he had a girlfriend, and he had tried to kiss me. I'm the one who should be mad.

"Sean, are you mad or something?" I asked as I poured my own bowl of cereal.

"I don't really know. I guess I'm more disapointed anything else. Disappointed in myself. I just...I don't know. I really don't." Sean was getting frustrated. Nothing new there.

"I know. If circumstances had been different, then maybe..." I trailed off. I didn't want to go there.

"I know what you mean." Sean said. We were both silent after that.

I still hadn't poured milk onto my cereal. I wasn't hungry anymore. I sighed and poured my cereal back into the box. Then I put my bowl in the sink. Sean got up and put his bowl next to mine.

"You're going to be hungry later." Sean said. I could feel his eyes on me, like he was watching my every move. It was a little unnerving.

"Gives me more incentive for lunch." I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes at him.

"So, what's on our agenda for today?" I asked. I knew that there wasn't anything planned, but I figured that he would have a better idea as for what we could do.

"I don't know." Sean said, which was exactly what I thought he would say.

"Okay, then let's hit the beach. I did, actually, happen to bring a suit with me. And I'm sure that you have one that you can wear. So we can go swiming or something." I said. Sean, of course, looked like he could care less either way.

I didn't wait for his responce. I was already off to go and dig in my bag for my swim suit. I was ready to do something, anything, fun. Anything that didn't include drama.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

_Let me rise, let me fall  
Let me breathe  
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all  
Let me break, let me crawl  
Cause I will get up again if you let me fall  
_**Let Me Fall - Alexz Johnson**

_The beach idea was great. Me and Sean did have a good time for once. Now I am seriously trying to get a tan, while Sean is off playing volleyball or something._

It's almost perfect. Almost. Sometimes I wish I knew how everyone was at home. I can't call or anything. Somehow I know that they will be fine. They should, by now, trust me and my judgement.

"Hey, writing more?" Sean asked and he collapsed on the sand next to me. I closed my journal and faced him.

"Yeah. Nothing big or anything like that." I said and slid my journal back into my bag, which I had taken with me.

"Cool. So do you need anything? I'm going to get some water." Sean said getting back up. I shook my head no.

He ran off and I quickly pulled my journal out and wrote one more sentence down.

_Sean is starting to get to me more._

When Sean got back I decided that the whole tanning thing wasn't going to really work out. I didn't have enough time, and I just didn't feel up to it. I did need water now, though.

"Okay, so I do need aqua." I said getting up and dusting the sand off myself.

"Here." Sean said and handed me a dollar. I shook my head and pointed to my bag. All my money was in there, and I could get my own bottle of water.

"Take the money. I'll get your money out of your bag. Then it will be like you got the water all on your own." I sighed and rolled my eyes, but I took the money anyway.

I took one long glance at Sean before I turned to go to the bar thing that they had. I figured I could get a bottle of water there.

"One water please." I said and handed the guy my money. He just took it, not even looking at me, and went to get the water.

I got my water, though, and started to walk back to where Sean was. When I got closer I saw that he was hunched over reading something. When I got even closer I saw that he was reading my journal.

"Sean! What are you doing!" I yelled as I ran over and grabbed my journal out of his hands.

"Emma..."Sean trailed off. I guess he couldn't figure out what to say. I didn't really feel like hearing it anyway.

"Save it! I don't want to hear any crap from you! Just leave me alone!" I said grabbing my bag. I shoved my journal back in my bag, and ran off.

I heard Sean try and catch up to me, so I ran faster. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I stopped, and looked around for Sean. I could see him far behind me, so I walked into the nearest open store.

"Well, well, well. Look who couldn't keep away from me." A very familiar voice came from behind me in the store.

I slowly turned to face the person, even though I already knew who it was. Jordan. I had to get out. I had to do something. I couldn't just stand there like I was helpless.

"Emma, right? You and this one guy came to my house last night and then ran off. Now that was rude. Do I need to-" Jordan rambled on until I cut him off.

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence, you perve! Now, I am going to leave, and this time, I wont run. Cause if you even think about touching me, I wont think twice about kicking you in the balls." I said. I knew my voice was shaking, but I didn't care. Then I did what I said I was going to do. I turned around and walked out.

Sean was standing outside with a look of shock written all over his face. I walked over to him and took his hand, for support. We walked away and after a few minutes I started to cry.

"Are you going to be okay?" Sean asked turning me to face him. It was a stupid question, but I guess he had to ask it.

I...I don't know." I said and wiped the tears from my face. I didn't want to cry anymore. I had done it too much lately.

"Okay, now that you're done crying, I have to go and kick his ass." Sean said and turned to go. I grabbed his hand and stopped him.

"No! I think...I think it's time that we went home." I said. This made Sean turn back around.

"Are you sure? I mean, it's only been one day. Your step on the wild side wont look so wild if you go back one day after you leave." Sean said. It kind of pissed me off.

"Not today. Not tomorrow. We'll go back on Friday. Just do me a favor. Don't piss me off anymore." I corrected him with a slight smile. I didn't know why I was smiling. Maybe it had to do with the fact that me and Sean were still holding onto each other's hands.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**  
**_Wednesday_**

_So much emptiness inside I could fill the deepest sea  
I reach to the sky as the moon looks on  
My one last year has come and gone  
It's time to let your love rain down on me_.  
**Black Roses Red - Alana Grace**

_There is only one thing that I feel like complaining about right now. And that is Sean._

Sean has been apologizing over and over for reading this. But I don't know. I guess I should just forgive him for it all. I just don't like to.

He's really been getting to me a lot lately. I guess it's because we're spending so much time together. I just wish it was as simple as it all feels. I know that when we go back to Toronto it's all going to go back to the way it was before.

Sean will go back to Ellie and Jay. I'll go back to being little-miss-save-the-world. We'll fade back into our usual life before this. At least Sean will. But I don't think I can go back to being the person I was before.

So many people are going to talk about us. I know this for sure. I just wish that I knew what they were going to say.

I sighed and closed my journal. We were going back the day after tomorrow. I had to get some fresh air. So I climbed out of bed and made my way outside once again.

When I got outside, I thought I was going to be alone. Instead Sean was sitting out there. He was being so quiet, and he was so still, that for a second I thought he may be asleep.

I slowly made my way over to where he was sitting. I was trying to be as quiet as I could, just in case he actually was asleep.

"What are you doing out here? It's late." Sean's voice nearly scared me to death.

I gave up on being quiet and just went to sit with him. He looked like he was thinking about something important.

"I needed some air." Was all I said.

The darkness fell apon us. It was almost suffocating, like a heavy wool blanket. I had to break the silence that was growing between us.

"So, what do you have on your mind?" I asked. Sean looked at me quickly. His face was so serious it almost made me sad. Sad that he had so much to be serious over.

"You, Emma. No matter what I think about, my thoughts always turn back to you. I hate it, and I try to fight it, but it always comes right back to you." Sean said. He wasn't looking at me. Then again, I wasn't really looking at him either.

"Sean...I think I know what you mean. I was like that too. When we were together. Then so many things happened all at once. With Snake, and everything else...But you were always there. Even if you weren't there for me, you were always in my mind." I said. I tried to put it all into words. I knew it sounded horrible.

"I'm sorry for all that. I gave up on you when you needed me the most. I turned out to be real ass, didn't I?" Sean said. Now he was looking at me.

"It's all okay." I said. I was captivated by the look in his eyes.

I could see everything in his eyes. They were the windows to his soul. There was love, fear, and regret in them. For some reason I knew my eyes mirrored the same emotions I saw in his.

"Sean...what about you and Ellie?" I knew that he was with her. At least I thought that they were together.

"I don't know. I haven't talked to her since the morning that we left. That was two days ago. I'm pretty sure that we're no longer on speaking terms." Sean said. The look in his eyes took on a far away expression. I knew that he was thinking about Ellie.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault." I said as I laid my hand on his shoulder. I was surprised to find that he wasn't tense.

"No, it was pretty much over. Our love was...something different. Maybe we were just too much alike. I guess on some level I knew that it wasn't going to last that long." Sean said. He was talking as though they had already broken up.

There was silence around us once again. I really didn't feel like breaking it this time. I sighed and leaned back to get a good view of the stars. It was a bit chilly but I didn't feel like going inside. I rubbed my arms to make them warmer.

"Are you cold?" Sean's voice broke the silence this time.

"Just a little." It was cold out, and I was wearing my black tank top, and plaid pajama pants. It was getting colder by the minute.

"Come here." Sean said and held out his arms to me. He was offering to keep me warm.

I could either accept and be warm, and not to mention, with Sean. Or I could not and go inside and go to bed. I had so much weighing on my decision.

I finally made up my mind. I got up and made my way over to Sean and let him wrap his arms around me


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

_If you only once would let me  
Only just one time  
Then be happy with the consequence  
With whatever's gonna happen tonight  
Don't think we're not serious  
When's it ever not  
The love we make is give and it's take  
I'm game to play along_  
**Work - Jimmy Eat World**

"Emma, wake up." I heard Sean's voice. I raised my head up quickly and connected with something hard.

"Oww!" Me and Sean both said at the same time. I lightly touched my forehead with my fingers. There wasn't a bump there, so it was all good.

"Are you okay?" I asked as I sat up and looked over at Sean who was knealing on the floor by the bed.

"Yeah." Sean said and finally removed his own hand from his forehead.

"What were you doing so close to my face?" I asked. I knew the part I was hoping for, but I didn't know why he had actually done it.

"I was just trying to wake you up." His responce was a little rushed, but it sounded real. It wasn't what I was looking for.

"Oh." I said, letting my disappointment show. At the moment I really didn't care if he knew how I felt.

Sean looked like he was about to say something else when he was stopped by a crash coming from the kitchen. I jumped and looked in the direction of the kitchen.

"I'll be right back." Sean said, getting up and running out of the room. I sighed and leaned back against the headboard.

It wasn't Sean who told me to get out of the house. It was the smoke detector. I jumped up, grabbed my bag, and ran out of the room to the hall.

The whole kitchen and the living room were in flames. I couldn't see Sean anywhere. I looked around me, trying to find him.

"Sean!" I screamed as loud as I could. It wasn't loud enough though, the smoke was so thick that I couldn't breathe.

"Em!" I heard my name being called from down the hall in Sean's parent's room.

I ran as quickly as I could to the room. Sean was there trying to drag his mom out of the room.

"What's wrong with your mom? And where is your dad?" I asked as I tried to get at least a few gasps of fresh air.

"She's passed out from her morning dose. My dad is out for the day. She figured she would cook. Then went to lie down. Help me." Sean explained. I rushed to help him.

We went as fast as we could to the back door. In the backyard we both collapsed, coughing. I was the first to get my breath. It was then that I realized I no longer had my bag.

"Oh...c." I said. I still didn't have much breath. I guess talking was just too hard.

"What?" Sean looked a little out of it. I really didn't blame him for it though. I'm sure I looked the same.

"I left...my bag. It had all my money in it. Bus passes and clothes too." I caught my breath and finished the sentence.

"Great." Was all that Sean said. It wasn't like there was much more that we could say.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

_Hopes can fail and dreams can fade  
Rain can fall down on your big parade  
Maybe love will take your heart or break your heart  
There are no guarantees  
But love will always find you when you just believe  
_**Always There In You - The Valli Girls**

**Six Hours Later**

"Emma! We have been looking everywhere for you! Are you okay? Did you get burned? Thank God you're okay!" My mom was the first person they let in to see me at the hospital.

After the fire department came to put out the fire, me, Sean, and his mom were all taken to the hospital. I guess they must have called my mom.

"Mom, I'm fine. I'm sorry for running away too. I figured you knew where I was and who I was with." I said. I had to get myself out of as much trouble as I could.

"Yeah, I know. I just thought I would say that before to make you feel guilty. I know you felt that you had to go, but you could have at least told me where you were going. We were all so worried." She finished. By this time we were both crying.

"Mom, I'm so sorry." I said in tears still. We both hugged. Then she pulled back and looked at me.

"I"m going to go check you out. Then you, me, and Sean are going to go home." She said and walked out, wiping her face dry.

As soon as she left I got up and started walking around the room. I was still in my own clothes, which was good. I started to walk back to the bed to sit down when Sean came in.

"Did you check out fine?" I asked as he smiled lightly.

"Perfect. Clean bill of health. They did say something about my heart though." He sounded so serious. I knew this couldn't be good.

"Wh-what did they say?" I couldn't help but be worried about him.

"Something about it being too in love. It made my heart grow two sizes." Sean said with a big grin.

"Sean!" I said and punched his shoulder. He was always such a bully. He really had me worried there.

"Really, I think I'm too in love. I really like the way it makes me feel too." Sean said sitting on the bed next to me.

"What are you trying to say Sean?" I asked. I wanted to hear him say it to me.

"You're not going to make this easy, are you?" Sean asked, facing me with his trademark smirk. I smiled and shook my head no.

"I love you, Emma. I love you more than anything." Sean said. I was sure that I was smiling like an idiot. Bigger than I'd ever smiled before.

"I love you too, Sean." I said and leaned in to kiss him. He leaned in too.

We kissed for what seemed like forever, like we used to. Then we were interupted by a cough. I broke away and faced my mom.

"Come on you two love birds. Let's go home." She said and led the way out of the room.

**Epilogue**

_Well I had to get a new Journal, since my old one burned. That is why I am writing in here. My new journal._

When we got back from Wasaga I was grounded. Of course. What did I expect? I wasn't grounded for too long though.

Me and Sean will have been together for two months as of Tuesday of next week. He broke up with Ellie when we got back. She was a little mad at first, but I think she's over it. After all, she's with Craig now.

Well, I think that covers everything. Now back to my life...  


_-Emma_

_The END!_

_**A/N:  
Thanks everyone who replied to my fic. It was you that helped keep me writing. I hope to have more stories out soon. Just as soon as I can figure out something interesting to write over. Once again, thanks.**_


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